We avoid conflict, yet it’s the struggle that drives the stories we tell …
I’m a proud Iowan—home of Caitlin Clark, John Wayne, and the University of Iowa, which boasts the first coed university, college of public health, and MFA program via the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. So, in a very general sense, I can say I have a job like one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut, who taught at the Writers’ Workshop in the ’60s.
We often celebrate Vonnegut’s success, writing Cat’s Cradle and Slaughterhouse-Five (much of it in Iowa City). But I prefer one of his failures. Like me, he came to Iowa without an advanced degree and felt imposter syndrome. To make up for it, he submitted a master’s thesis to the University of Chicago arguing that stories don’t just move through time—they rise and fall emotionally, charting fortune on a Y-axis. He claimed most stories follow just a few basic plots.
- Man in a Hole: Iron Man—Tony Stark falls from wealth into captivity, then rises as a hero.
- Boy Meets Girl: When Harry Met Sally—They meet, become friends, stumble through emotions, and fall in love.
- From Bad to Worse: Breaking Bad—Walter White begins with good intentions and spirals into tragedy.
Vonnegut even graphed characters’ fortunes over time, which he sketches out in this delightful video. However, the University of Chicago wasn’t impressed—they rejected his thesis. The purpose of this literary digression: Name a good story where nothing bad ever happens.
When we tell stories, we often smooth out the rough edges. In branding, we avoid highlighting customer pain points. In personal stories, we worry vulnerability will feel like TMI. But here’s the thing: the struggle is the story.
When a character in a story faces danger, it triggers cortisol in us—the audience—sharpening our focus. As the tension builds, we become more emotionally connected. That’s why struggle isn’t just okay—it’s essential in both personal and brand storytelling.
- Malala Yousafzai survived a Taliban attack at 15, turning her fight for girls’ education into a global movement—and a Nobel Prize.
- Ursula Burns shattered barriers as the first Black woman to lead a Fortune 500 company, overcoming struggles with race, gender, and work-life balance.
- Dove challenged beauty standards with its “Real Beauty” campaign, flipping societal pressure into a powerful message of self-worth.
- Nike thrives on stories of struggle—athletes battling injury, doubt, and defeat—only to rise and overcome the odds.
Again, the struggle is the story. Whether building a brand or connecting and leading others, don’t forget to make the struggle real.
Use This Story Strategy in Your Work
- Why struggle matters: It creates stakes—giving your audience a reason to care, stay engaged, and take action.
- When to use it: Anytime you want to connect. Struggle is essential in both brand and leadership storytelling.
- How to use it:
- In brand stories, show the customer (or someone like them) facing real challenges—physical, emotional, or social.
- In personal stories, be vulnerable. Share a time you felt stuck or had to fight your way back—your own “man in a hole” moment.
Next time you tell a story—at work or in life—remember: the struggle is what makes people care.
Don’t avoid the tension. Lean into it.
A version of this first appeared in Story Strategies—my monthly email newsletter designed to help you connect with your audience through the power of story. Get the next issue delivered to your inbox.
